Popular misconception (without even a conversation)
Look after yr self is the ‘mantra’ of our times, we used to use stuff and love people, now we use people and love stuff.
Like Cristian Bales American Psycho! kicking the guy on the street blaming him for all that is bad in the world while he lives of his rich chicks daddy’s money, he is hurt and oddly he does hurt! that his business card was not the best in the room! the horror of perfectionism, being ‘hurt’ for no physical reason, and hurting as no inside, no inner guide, no self entertainment.. Buy or die. It actually seems that extreme at times.
I return UK in a week or so, like 2yrs before, only a little more extreme I had the impression then that my record with Lloyds was (it is!!) very clear and all payed up/payed in. That I had kept up with good friends, my best friend and my skill to ride the waves would serve me well I felt, I understood the reasons I had to leave CR, though I did not agree and that for a little while frugality (the new sin) while I got back on my feet.
I suddenly remembered I had begun a savings when became self employed so many yrs ago, a little like Bill Hicks, I can work and well, but not for those who play control games ah! if you can still find any not tampered with Hicks I recommend it highly,
the government changed the contract, I do not know why! It was not with them!
My friend who I had laughed and cried in gratitude with, was enjoying my loss independence a little too much, people who said the handmade would not sell, and gave me a hand, suddenly withdrew that hand when they saw it did, Some people will prove themselves right by making it more and more difficult for anyone to live in a ‘different’ way it seems to me. The extreme of this are wars fought only to control how another nation lives, not because that nation is a danger to it, we see the lies. Do we not?
Stay and see was a flash thought as I sat vippassana, I was asked yesterday if I was a Baba! I said I was not, I was sitting in shade in a breeze, full gratitude, watching a kingfisher catch its pray, and the amazing fishes in Pushkar Lake. Madam is good spat the over talkative Baba.
Along with the savings I can not get now for another 3 yrs, 5 yrs later than my contract said, I can no longer get loans as a self employed entity I have taken loans to bridge cash flow a few times, always paying back in full, so I have a 97% credit rating and Lloyds tell me the No1, I have the highest rateing a person can have for good behavior, such a good girl even with the dreadlocks!! I could not get a loan this time, Mastercard was ok at high interest I found that curious. Because I do not have a regular wage, well yeh! right!! like I ever did.
Loans are no longer baced on the details of my accountability/record etc.
I had a Capitol one credit card, to invest while here in India. ZERO ON IT! ALL PAYED. and yeh! stopped for my security! and can not sort it until UK. perhaps I will cut of my nose to spite my face again and cancel it!? That is what I did with the Mastercard after paid it off, and well it would have been useful right now..
To say the least, options are few, I write this as it is not only happening to me, I am quite bright I have no dept it’s one reason can’t get credit, really bizzar.
I was educated with the idea, ‘some people have more money than soft mick.’ one of my Mums sayings actually, a lot of those saying from past, from before my time!? are ringing bells. they may turn into more blogs.
It is happening to too many people and culture’s, this outing, this our way or the highway. I saw a cartoon recently, it was a boat capsizing the ones on top (a bit like the titanic) sipping there wine comfortably were on the same ship that was sinking, I saw in USA when last there a lot of people who really did not like themselves! one even verbalized that his cancer was punishment, that humans were scum.. I thought he was being a little hard on himself, the 1st Buddhist monks to mix with christian monks felt the latter extremely unkind to themselves.
Life goes in waves, just like energy it is not a straight line, so I hope to stay and see the rest of this magical journey.
To a wake up call.